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Whose Poop Is This?

I’ve become a shit archaeologist.

By Margaret Curran

Love your writing, keep at it! This one still makes me laugh out loud! I love Jason's voice!

Posted by: Jessica | May 01, 2008 16:41

absolutely hilarious.

Posted by: robin hoffman | May 03, 2008 09:37

margie, Absolutely funny! I always knew you were funny, but that is hysterical, and so true! Karen C.

Posted by: karen | May 05, 2008 21:25

"Mom, what are you laughing at?"

"Poop."

Brilliant.

Posted by: Karen | May 14, 2008 13:28

OMG, that is too funny. I could see my kids doiing the exact same thing. Monkies, all of them.

Posted by: Dawndela | Aug 20, 2008 01:38

What a CRAP story!!

Posted by: SupaW | Aug 20, 2008 12:10

That was the funniest thing I've read in a while. They never tell you the "poop" part of parenting before you have kids!

Posted by: Gyoza | Aug 20, 2008 13:41

ha ha, cute post. Thanks for entertaining me a bit while at work.

Posted by: Andrew | Aug 20, 2008 15:38

oh, this is too funny! I laughed till I cried - My 6 year old has given me the same excuse about not flushing.

Posted by: Heather | Aug 20, 2008 19:07

This is the best story I have ever read. LMAO. Great story.

Posted by: Blondie Writes | Aug 20, 2008 19:23

OH-MY-GOD! I love you! My kids are all freaked out, "mom what's wrong, why you crying?" They won't believe me I'm laughing. I don't even want to know how much of that you embellished because I choose to believe that every last F bomb is the truth. Bless you.

Posted by: cin | Aug 20, 2008 23:33

Oh shit...this is one fo the funniest thing I have read in a long time. My stomach is hurting from laughing.

Great piece of writing!

Posted by: Heatherl | Aug 21, 2008 03:48

Hilarious! Reminds me of the time my 3-year old son (who is one of a set of triplets) was naked from the waist down when I was trying to give his diaper rash "some air" as the doctor claimed that was the best way to get rid of it. While dancing across the living room, he pooped and just kept on going, completely oblivious to his own defecation.

Within moments of my screaming to his brother and sister, "Don't go near that poop," his brother stepped in it. I scooped up my first son and put him on the toilet in case any more poop was on its way and ran back to pick up the poop and clean my other son's foot.

But where was the poop? The only thing in its place was a small stain on the carpet.

I yelled, "Where's the poop?" but both my son and daughter simply looked at me with no response.

Then I heard the jingle of the dog's collar and realized where the poop had gone. Suffice it to say, the dog got a very thorough tooth brushing! She did make clean up of the floor a lot easier though! :)

Posted by: Susan | Aug 21, 2008 09:44

Great article. I better get a move on training my one year old puppy. He's destroying all of my carpets =(

Posted by: Recruiting Services | Aug 21, 2008 10:14

LMFAO!!! Oh that sounds so like me! I'm not in the potty training stage yet, but it's coming soon!

Posted by: 'Lissa | Aug 21, 2008 11:50

I'm writing this with tears of laughter in my eyes! thank you, that was hysterical!

Posted by: Claire | Aug 21, 2008 12:03

Hahaha brilliant!
Long time since My kids were potty trained, luckily I wasn't a single parent then.
But, one of my daughters, who is a single parent, has a little boy just about coming up to potty training.

Here we go again.

Keep up the good work.

Posted by: yeomanpip | Aug 21, 2008 15:51

:D I love this. I love that my 2 yr old isn't the only one who swears.

Posted by: Mommy Smith | Aug 21, 2008 17:09

"Otay, ooos it is dis?"

The kids are thankfully too old to be culprits. We do, however, have a new kitten. We know "OOO" de sit belongs to. We just can't find the damn thing! Margaret,do you hire your archaeological skills out to others???

Dee

Posted by: Dee | Aug 21, 2008 17:57

OMG!!! I screamed with laughter with tears rolling down my eyes and almost choked on the sandwich I was lunching on! I advised my Mom to read it with an empty mouth, because I didn't want to have to give her the Heimlich.

Posted by: Jan Ochs | Aug 22, 2008 14:45

So funny. I found this post on StumbleUpon and haven't stopped laughing. Great post.

Posted by: Daddy | Aug 22, 2008 15:30

OMG your great....

Posted by: Bonnie | Aug 22, 2008 21:30

This was effin funny, thanks for the good laugh!!

Posted by: Veronica | Aug 22, 2008 23:43

I *REALLY* hope for your kids sake you don't talk to them like that. Thats horrible.

Posted by: Anthony | Aug 25, 2008 00:20

I think this has got to be the funniest blog post I have read in a long time! I have 3 kids, 2 in diapers, I dread potty training them. Luckily though no animals to deal with. Love the fake poop!!

Posted by: Hyla | Aug 26, 2008 18:08

This is one of the funniest things I've read in a long time.

Katie-Anne

Posted by: Katie-Anne | Aug 29, 2008 06:40

This is quite possibly the funniest shit I've ever read about, um, shit. You have definitely gained yourself a new reader. (hmmm... what does that say about me???)

Posted by: morninglight mama | Aug 29, 2008 14:01

is the foul language really necessary..it would have been funnier if you had made it humourous, You made it sound like you cant stand your kids. Is that Christian?

Posted by: laura | Aug 31, 2008 20:31

"You made it sound like you cant stand your kids. Is that Christian?"

No, Laura, it's human. And if you're offended by "foul language" you're most definitely at the wrong site.

Posted by: prescott | Aug 31, 2008 21:00

Oh man I have not laughed so hard for ages. I'm a Dad of 4 and experience more feeshes than I would like. Great article Margaret.

Posted by: Cam | Sep 02, 2008 07:39

Author writes "I found him in the closet naked from the waist down, pointing to a big pile of crap. He had a terrified look on his face – apparently he was frightened of his own shit. I was forced to ask the obvious question: “Whose poop is this?” Okay, I didn’t really ask, I yelled it at the top of my lungs while Jason clung mightily to my leg."

Am I the only one who finds this image, and indeed the whole story a little disturbing? What might make a child scared of his own shit? What might the long term effects of that fear be? Is it normal or acceptible for a 2 year old to begin mimicking his mother's screaming tirades?

Perhaps I'm over sensitive, but I think there is a lot of sadness and pain behind this ostensibly comic tale.

Posted by: obsteve | Sep 02, 2008 12:22

Man. This has GOT TO BE the FUNNIEST, most relatable (I realize that this is actually not a word, but it should be, damn it.) parenting blog I've EVER read. This is just pure brilliance. I was cracking up and nodding my head the entire time.
Thank God that there is actually another mother out there who uses profanity. I swear, as good as the blogs I've read may be, I was about to shoot myself if I ever saw another cutesy "The poo-poo that Timmy left on the floor just smelled of flowers" blog I was gonna shoot myself.
Thanks for this. You've just earned a reader.

Posted by: Erin | Sep 04, 2008 00:23

This is the funniest thing that I have ever read. I shared it with my husband and he laughed so hard he had tears streaming down his face. Thank you for bringing so much laughter to our frustrated lives.

Posted by: Dawn Curran | Sep 06, 2008 10:59

Very funny story. I put my hand up to apply for funding for the development of genetically modified shitless babies.

Reservoir Dad

Posted by: Reservoir Dad | Sep 09, 2008 19:41

I also found this on StumbleUpon - it's absolutley fantastic... I nearly wet myself laughing at this!!

Posted by: Clare | Sep 10, 2008 07:51

Lmao, that is sooooooo true. I have a cat, dog and an 8 year old. After recently moving and suddenly finding piles of poop in various locations around the house the dog has been banished to the bathroom (vinyl floor :-) ) every day, having ruled out the 8 year old lol I assumed a poop free carpet ...... WRONG ..... my 13 year old cat who has never before joined in with this pastime has suddenly decided it's easier to 'do' it where ever he is and not pop outside to use garden. Thing is I thought I was a good 'poop archaelogist' before, obviously knowing the difference between cat and dog poop..... ah wel!!! Cat is now banished outside and dog still in bathroom during the day and the 8 year old - well she still 'forgets' to flush sometimes.....thanks for making me feel less of a freaky mom and making me lol....

Posted by: Helen | Sep 11, 2008 08:35

HA! I really thought that mine was the only house where that sentence was uttered.

I love this. ;)

Posted by: Jennifer | Sep 12, 2008 02:07

I'll drink to that!!

Posted by: momof3&2dogs | Sep 12, 2008 23:40

OH MY GOD this is so DAMN funny!!! And soooooo true!

Posted by: sheri | Sep 13, 2008 21:32

This is hilarious. It sounds like my house.

Posted by: WAHM Tara | Sep 15, 2008 00:00

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