The Imperfect Community

marybeth+willsMommy · Slightly Flawed Joined: 17 Jun 2008 Posts: 79

Hi all! My daughter will be 2 in November and her sitter and I have "introduced" her to the potty training seat - but she just sits there and cries. I know that is probably how most kids react their first time but it has been a good month or 2 and she is still doing this. Her baby brother was born in March and I am wondering if she is still dealing with sharing Mom and Dad and if I should wait? In the mornings when I am in the bathroom getting ready for work she comes in and plays with the handle and likes to lift the lid and is very interested in the "real toilet" bus hates the trainer! Any advice? Should I wait till she is more ready or over the shock of her brother coming??? Help... please??? Surprised

Stacey S · Posted: Mon Jul 21, 2008 9:56 am Post subject:

EVERY child is different and will potty train differently. Having said that....
When my son turned two I thought I HAD to potty train him because that was "the appropriate age" well let’s just say I was wrong! He clearly wasn't ready and by me trying to force the issue I feel as though I may have made things worse, so I stopped.
About 2 months prior to him turning 3 I noticed he would "hide" when he was having a BM or would walk kinda funny with a disgruntled look on his face if he was wet...so we tried it again.
I completely did away with the diapers & I never even tried the pull-up's. I went straight to the 2 or 3 ply underwear and plastic underwear to cover those (I bought them at Sears). That way there was no mistaking when he was wet & he HATED being wet...it also cut down on the clean-up in the event of an accident. We sat on the potty IN THE BATHROOM every 2 hours for approx. 5-10 minutes. If he didn't do anything I praised him for trying and when he did do something I did the "pee pee in the potty dance" and he got mini marshmallows ( I raided a box of lucky charms for those)! I NEVER got upset with him if he had an accident. I told him it was okay and that we’ll do better next time.
By the time he was 3 he was completely potty trained!
However my niece was TERRIFIED of having a BM on the potty (apparently this is fairly common) so it took her a lot longer.
You know your child better than anyone else. If potty training isn't working for her just yet, wait and try it again later on. The most important thing is to not to allow anyone else to make you feel guilty if you're not doing things "at the appropriate age" YOU will know when she's ready!
Best of luck to you!

marybeth+willsMommy · Slightly Flawed Joined: 17 Jun 2008 Posts: 79

Thanks Stacey! I am terrified I am going to traumatize her by starting too early or do the same by waiting too long. I guess I will just chill for now and look for the little cues your son gave you. I have noticed she will squat when she is having a bm so that is a start I guess. I have felt pressure because people are like "Have you gotten her potty trained yet? off the bottle yet? Completely feeding herself yet?" Maybe I am just babying my baby girl too much but she is 20 months not 20 YEARS old. I know people mean well but you are right, no one knows their babies better than Mama!

P.S. I will try the marshmallow trick too when the time comes. I love those myself! toothy8

mommyplus3 · Slightly Flawed Joined: 03 Jul 2008 Posts: 43

hiya!!

don't know if this will help or not, but....mine were trained at 20 months, 23 months, and 27 months. all 3 of my kids HATED (and i do mean hated) the little potty. they wanted to go on the big potty ;o). i did have one of those seats that go on the top to keep them from falling in, but it was easier for us if i just held them steady - and they did their business much quicker LOL. we went straight to undies...and only used pullups at night. hang in there girl Smile

...no one goes to kindergarten in diapers.

momof3_MOD · Posted: Mon Jul 21, 2008 8:48 pm Post subject:

Hmmm...thats tricky! All kids are ready at different times! My oldest was ready at...get this...15 months! Shocked

She HATED being wet and dirty and would smack her diaper when she had to go. We started training her and she was almost done and then winter came and it got really hard to get her there in time b/c of all the clothes she had on. We waited and did the potty when we could until spring came and then she was done! She did have a fear of having a #2 in the potty and when she was 1 1/2 she held it for so long that she couldnt go and we had to get her some Miralax! The dr said that probably at some point her hurt her once to go and so she just held it b/c she didnt want to do it on the potty or in her pants! We always awarder her with a mini M&M and a sticker for her sticker chart that I drew and she colored! She loved that! We would sit there forever and read stories until she went.

My son on the other hand...wasnt ready until he was almost 3! We just got him finished! Thank the Lord!!! No more pull-ups!!! Smile

He was harder though!

I would say, if she was my child, that since you just had a baby to let her wait a little longer. At some point she will be the one to ask and then go for it. There is an Elmo movie about potty training...thats how we got our son to finally start going! He loved that movie!!! pottytrain4

If you force her she might regress especially since you just had another baby. Have you tried letting her run around the house naked? Then when she has to go she might run to the potty!? Not always though...I learned that one with my son! YUCK! pottytrain5

Good luck! pottytrain2

Darlene · Seen Better Days Joined: 12 Apr 2008 Posts: 319

Mary Beth, heres grandmas little tid bit, My oldest daughter was so dang easy, So when our son came along 2yrs later , it was a breeze, that she was done with diapers, untol she started bed wetting, this went on for about 6 months, when my son was about 9 months old, S would go to the bath room and she would holler "mommy come see the baby" I'd go in and she had taken off his diaper (diaper pins at that) and he'd be sitting on her potty smacking his little feet on the floor, she'd be on the big potty, leaning forward, so she would'nt fall in.

It was the cutest thing ever, so by the time he was 1, he was potty trained, And I had heard how boys are so much harder than girls, So guess I'll never know about that one. So there I was with 2 toddlers all potty trained,

And then came #3, oh lord I believe God gave me the 2 easy ones, just to break the ice for the others, She was so dang stubborn, and at 36 yrs old she is still stubborn. ewww some times I just wanna yank her little head off.

But as the other girls told you, do not let any one tell you how soon to start, or what you may be doing wrong, get advice yes, as you did here, but don't ever let anyone try to tell you how to raise your own kids, And what works for one don't always work for another, I had one who really did'nt care if she sat on the potty all day, she still was gonna wet her pants, not poop, but wet them, b/c I think she was to lazy to go to the potty, I had one that just one day we were in the country, and she went to an out side toilet (scared me to death) but there she sat, pooping, I opened the door and she just looked up at me and said "I do it in the big hoe" So there ya have it, My little momkeys, all different, all sweet, and ornery. Sorry girls for the long comment.

marybeth+willsMommy · Slightly Flawed Joined: 17 Jun 2008 Posts: 79

Thanks for all of your advice ladies! It is nice to know we Moms (new ones like me and more experienced ones like some of y'all) are not alone out there as we raise our kids. I guess I will back off a bit and let her get more used to her baby brother and try again in a few months. Thanks again for all of the help my friends! God Bless...

mammaX3_MOD · Posted: Tue Jul 22, 2008 4:33 pm Post subject:

Not sure if it was coincidence or not, but my stubborn little one finally potty trained after watching the Elmo potty video over and over. I was surprised at how thorough and encouraging it was!

momof3_MOD · Posted: Tue Jul 22, 2008 7:30 pm Post subject:

marybeth+willsMommy · Slightly Flawed Joined: 17 Jun 2008 Posts: 79

My friend was telling me about the Elmo video the other day and is going to let me borrow hers. It sounds like a miracle worker!!